THIS HAS FAMILY ISSUES MEDICAL ISSUES AND THE TALK OF BLOOD AND IF IT GROSSES YOU OT SKIP IT OR DONT READ IT
...I don't know how to say this but...
I've been having a lot of issues lately,
In October my brother went through two surgeries, one for his anoids/tonsils, the other for one of his eyes. HE IS FINE but he still sees double and as of 2/6/15 was cleared after a year of waiting to get better, to be allowed to drive again. Though my mom wants to take him to a brain doc to see if something is wrong neurologically he says he's fine.
In November 3 people I knew died, my mom's great-grandfather, her best friend...and my dad.
Then shortly after, my Dad's parents wouldn't not let me have anything of his belongings, and REFUSED to let me take his comics, which he promised to me at such a young age they thought I would have forgot that. They took his wedding ring, most of his comics, and everything else in the house. Since he had no will, and my parents are divorced, I'm 19 so I'm legally able to dothings such as sign him to be cremated and his death cerft. His parents hate me now, because I told them they will never have my father because of the selfish, rude, demeaning, way they acted. They started giving his stuff away, WITH HIM STILL ON THE FLOOR. So the rage I feel is something I thought only could happen in movies. I think of how they acted and my blood boils knowing that he lay there, dead, and they walked OVER him to get stuff out of the house so "the greedy EX wont get anything". The rage that at one point was so bad I punched a hole in a wall, straight through it, and I didnt feel my hand bruise or one of my knuckles bleed. Though I did scare the crap out of my mom who thought I fell over.
My grandfather even told me it was my fault that he died, and that he wished it was me instead cause i rarely visited my dad, in his own words. But when you're allergic to cats, peanuts, nuts, and dust; and your father refuses to let you go to the store to get food you can eat, EATS NUTS AND PEANUTS AND THEN STUCKS HIS HANDS INTO THE ONLY BAG OF CHIPS YOU CAN EAT OR BREAD, or complains that you take your allergy pills cause without them you'll have a severe asthma attack, you kinda don't want to go over there. I DID offer to take him out to places, like a coney island, movies, comic store, park, etc to catch up, when i had the money, but he refused every time.
I barely got his records for my brother, I fought tooth and nail at the cost of everything I wanted slipping away. BUT I don't mind that I didn't get almost nothing, I'm just glad I could get most of the stuff my brother and father worked together on and shared a lot of, like models, records, and books. I did get 4 boxes, of his comics, though he originally had over 30 I got some of my father's belongings and though I'm mad i couldn't get his wedding ring for my brother, or anything else for my brother I am fine.
Then in December I had the flu, it was so severe that I was throwing up for almost 4 hours on and off, with more then one time I couldnt breath and almost blacked out. Then when the flu was half way over I had a day where I was so sensitive i couldnt move, drink, eat or even pet my dog. Shortly after i found a lump under my skin in a female area, and went to a doc, who removed it, and 5 others. She was surprised I felt nothing I even was cracking jokes and laughing when normally others would be crying in pain and begging for pain meds or some way to stop it.
Whatever it was was full of blood, not puss or gunk, blood and blood clots. The doc was concerned but told me to come back if anything happened...Two days later the lump was back, and it had more with it. In total she removed 8+ lumps, all full of blood and clots. She ordered me to get a scan of the pelvis and...They think I need surgery because whatever is causing this thing to grow back HOURS after it's cut out is artery related. I'm very scared I can't tell my boyfriend/fiance because I don't want him worrying, and im so scared because sure getting something cut out of you is scary but having a ARTERY a MAIN BLOOD LINE have an issue where it's sending clots to my leg near my crotch scares me. I'm afraid to fall and injure myself because I'm horrified the clots will get back into my blood stream. And Theyre sending me to a specialist who has like 15 years or more of experiance and seen thousands of peopl and my description of what I have makes him stumped. The doc that removed them has contacted and talked to 3 others, all of which have no idea what this is and they are sending me to this other guy in hopes that he''ll know what it is, and find a way to stop it without doing surgery.
Right as I'm writing this I can feel the lump cramp, and I can feel it pulse and itS VERY WEIRD and I make ball jokes with my mom, shes very nervous. "Look mah' I'm growing my own pair of balls!"
So I'm very stressed and slowly little by little I think I won't use this site anymore. I'll log on once and a while but I most likely will just do it to see what my friends have made/done. The contest I've entered I'll still make something for but after that I don't think I will post anything on this anymore.
If you want though, I can be reached at tumblr at owlderp and on here. BUT it might take weeks for me to respond on DA.
Sorry if I made anyone grossed out or sad but this might be one of my goodbyes.
Reading: the computer screen